Ezra has had a rough couple days, and our fears of him being intubated have become a reality. We were told this is for the best. "Give his body a break"... "He needs to rest." These are the comments we keep getting. We know he's been fighting hard, and selfishly we want him to continue fighting and breathing on his own, but that's not the plans laid out right now. I'm angry and numb all at the same time. I keep asking God when is enough ENOUGH?! Haven't we been thru the fire? Isn't it time for the blessings to start pouring in? Instead I feel like everyday is a step backwards. I'm thankful my husband has been so positive thru this. Because I'm not. I'm a wreck, and Ezra deserves parents that are strong and willing to fight just like he's been doing.
Ezra had a head ultrasound yesterday morning to check for brain bleeding. That came back fine. His bloodwork came back normal. We are thankful for this news. I know this situation could be so much worse, but yet I'm still having a hard time finding peace with my little boy being hooked up to machines breathing for him. Just doesn't bring me comfort.
Please pray with us (for us, some moments I can't even pray), that his body would find rest with being ventilated. But that this also wouldn't last long.
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