1 Year of Life Video

While I made the trip to a from the hospital for 137 days, this specific song carried me through. I would weep on the drive there and weep on the drive home. This song would play EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. "Yea though I walk through the valley I know that You are always right beside me, And I will fear no evil. You're my rock, And my strength. You comfort me. Amazing grace." No matter how angry, upset, or sad I was God was there right beside me. There was no pain, no suffering we went through that Jesus himself didn't go through. "You carry me through the waters, Where Your peace clears away all my sorrow. And nothing can separate us from Your love Oh, Your love it will always be. You were healing in the pain, You were shelter in the storm. Hallelujah You restore my soul."

Happy Birthday!

My Sweet Guy,

God has brought us to a year! What wonderful grace He bestows upon us. One year ago, my prayers were answered. Against all odds you came into the world with life. You fought everyday and till this day you are our feisty little guy. While this past year was the hardest year of my life, I'd endure it all again to have you healthy and here. Faith was put to the grinding wheel, and I was on my knees more than standing. What manner of love the Father has given into us, that He calls us His children. My heart ached to have you well, Jesus heart aches even more to see His children suffering and in pain. He gave us strength for another day. If anything I can teach you, my sweet boy, is cling to the one who sacrificed all, all the days of your life.

We had such a wonderful birthday party. It was rainbow themed to reflect on God's promises! We had a candy bar, balloon arch (that flew away!), and rainbow fruits, veggies, and pop. You were spoiled with gifts, and slept threw most of the gift opening. You didn't try any cake, we'll save that for your 12 month adjusted birthday in August. You were surrounded with family and love, one of the best gifts!!

We can't wait to see what God does this year in your life! :-)

Happy Birthday Ezra!

I love you to the moon and back,

Mom

Still Sick

Sweetness,

You are still battling this pneumonia. You are on antibiotics number 2, praying it helps! You have lost weight and are back down to 14lbs 6 oz.  You are working harder than usual just to breathe so we are watching you close. Your lung doctor scheduled your sleep study for the end of May, in hopes you'll be feeling much better by then. We will have to pack up and head overnight to DeVos so you can be hooked up to machines on your face,nose, mouth to monitor all your numbers while you sleep. I'm a bit nervous about that, because you don't sleep thru the night.. Should be interesting!

You are sitting up all by yourself, getting onto hands and knees bouncing back and forth. You are bound and determined to get moving even if you are sick!

I sure hope this sickness will be over soon. It tugs on my heart to see you sick and loosing weight.

Love you to the moon and back,
Mom

11 Months Old

Little Sir,

You are 11 months Old! You are currently battling pneumonia and an awful cold. You are back on oxygen full time :-(  again. But it's okay, when you are healed I know your lungs will pick back up were we left off. You were getting so close to being off oxygen for good. We were ready to schedule your sleep study (monitors your oxygen levels while you sleep) but then you got awfully sick. We are thankful that you didn't need any hospital admissions, though. It's been a rough couple months of sickness at our house. We are ready for sunshine and warm temperatures to kick the germs out of here!

You are loving food these days. Sweet potatoes, apple sauce and prunes are your favorites!

In a few short weeks you'll be turning 1, we have a fun birthday planned for you!!!! Stay tuned!

Xoxo,
Mom

One Year Ago..

One year ago my world was shattered with the news my water broke and you would be born. We prayed, we cried and we hung onto hope! You held on 5 additional weeks, against all odds given to us by the doctors, ONLY by the grace of God. There was nothing I did, there was nothing your dad did, Jesus did everything! We are so undeserving, but He   answered our pleas and you are here. Living. Thriving.Loving. To God be the glory!!!

Love you my dear boy!
Mom

10 Months Old

Sweet Little Boy,
You are 10 months old! You have two teeth and weigh 14 1/2lbs. You are rolling over, working on sitting up, and pushing up on your hands and knees.
Your weight gain has slowed down because you are sick again. You have a nasty cough that you projectile vomit from.
Last week you were off oxygen all day long and only wore it at night! Woo hoo! This week we are leaving you on because of your cold.
Everyone at home is sick, including mom. We've been battling colds, fevers, headaches, bodyaches for over 3 weeks. We are fervently praying for complete healing come Saturday because we are packing up and heading up north! We all desperately need a vacation, and so we are taking a few-day getaway to Great Wolf Lodge! Your going to love the warm temperatures and water! I'll update with pictures of you at the water park next week.

Keep growing and smiling my sweet angel! Love you to the moon and back!

Mom

9 Months

While you might be the tiniest 9 month old around, you are still super cute, and growing! In two weeks you packed on over 1lb! You weigh 13lbs 11oz. You are rolling, trying your hardest to sit up (aka baby crunches), and babbling. You got your first tooth coming in, too. Which means it's time to start food! You've tried cereal, avocado, and potatoes so far. I was warned that it's likely for you to have an oral aversion because of all the tubes you had running through your mouth for so long. Which means you would gag, choke and turn  away from food. But so far so good! You love food! No signs of oral aversion! Praise the Lord!
The pulmonary doctors want you gaining weight faster so your lungs grow faster. They had a dietician talk to mom. She was very anti-breastfeeding of premature infants and wanted me to put you on high calorie formula. She wants you gaining 1/2 ounce a day. So we went home and prayed about it. In 14 days you gained 16oz! Double what she wanted. Your pediatrician told me to keep doing what we are doing. We are thankful for the answering of our prayers. Our desire is to see you thrive and grow new lung tissue.

Love you sweet boy,

Mom

p.s. I finally found one fat roll on your thighs! I'll have to take a picture of it.....

Praying Changes Everything!

Since I last updated, you've been fighting an illness. Your oxygen needs continued to climb. We have been giving you nebulizer breathing treatments, that you dislike, but seem to be helping. We got a chest xray done. You were so cute sitting on the red chair, strapped down. When the pulmonary doctor read the findings, he told us your lung disease is severe and to expect you to need supplemental oxygen for one to two more years. While my heart had a moment of disappointment, I recovered and realized you have life! You are filled with joy. We see life in a different way because of you. You melt any heart by just being next to you. Everywhere we go, we get comments about your eyes! Your eyes tell a happy story. Not a story of struggle, nor a story of grief. Your eyes tell a story of complete dependence on Jesus, which is The only way to experience true joy! One to two more years on oxygen is no big deal, we can handle that. But if there is anything I've learned over the course of a year, prayer changes everything!

Today you are back down on your oxygen and are able to come off for short time periods. God is so good to us!

Love you to the moon and back,
Mom

Feeling Better!

We are thrilled to see you back to your normal self-happy! You light up the room with your eyes and smile!

We continue to pray for healthy, healing lungs!

Love you to the moon and back!

Mom