Exhausted is how we would describe what we are all feeling! 4500+ Miles have been driven to be with Ezra these last 50 days.
We are at a standstill. Ezra is still on the ventilator, high settings, high oxygen, and still has hazy lungs. He's been hoovering around 3lbs the last week and half. Now the dietitians are concerned about his weight gain/loss. He's on the highest possible calorie supplement so there's really no where to improve. He's been on a week long diuretic to help him loose any excess fluid he might have on his lungs. It really did nothing. No vast improvement like we were hoping for. We need him to grow so his lungs can grow!
I just want him to turn this corner and get better!! This waiting game is nearly killing me. If I could just put a sign up that says "Please Don't Talk To Me" I would. My heart is broken, I feel like I have experienced hell on earth. To me everyone is happy and continuing on with life while ours is in complete shambles and hope of it ever returning is in the long, distant future. The only way I can describe it to another mom, is like walking into a store with all your children and when you are ready to leave one is missing. No matter how much you pray, no matter how much you cry, you still can't find that one child and bring him back home with you. Pure agony.
On a positive note, Daddy was ready to hold Ezra this week!
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