Today I Choose Joy

Sweet boy,

I have been struggling with finding joy through this trial. God has been teaching me all along the way. Dad told me about a week ago that God can't build upon broken ground, so he needed to completely crumble my foundation and build new. Here we are on the bottom ground, faith. Faith is believing what we can't see. God. I came to that moment a week or so ago establishing if God is truly real. Is God Love? We aren't promised tomorrow on earth, but we are promised an eternity with him if we freely choose to surrender all to Him and walk according to His word.  While it's hard for me to understand why you, why us, why me. I do know God has a bigger plan, and so I declare my life, and your life to be in His hands. I promise to enjoy every minute I spend with you! I knew from the time on hospital bedrest I would no longer take life for granted. I would no longer put relationships second. While I fail often God brings me to that moment at the hospital when my world started crashing with all the horrific news of loosing you, and possibly my life.

Now that I have my faith established, next comes trust.  I trust God. And I want you to trust him too. He is a merciful saviour. He has shown great mercy towards our family in every detail of our lives. I can't wait to share more of those details with you!

We belong to God. There is no life apart from Him. So it's with faith and trust we can say together your will for us and your way for us, Lord.  If that means many more weeks of you in the intensive care unit, I will be full of joy knowing you have life, and that we will be reuntied as a whole family soon.

I pray one day you can grow to be just like your daddy. He finds joy and blessings in every walk. The Sun could choose to never shine, and your Dad would have the faith to believe the sun will eventually come out with a rainbow. He is the glue that holds your mom together. Everyday he claims we have life, be grateful! He is truly the most amazing man, and you are so blessed to have such a fun, inspiring dad. You'll realize that soon enough!

I love you! Today I choose joy!

Xoxo,
Mom

P.s. I'm taking an infant massage class today! I'll test out my massage skills later on you. :-)

P.s.s. Daddy got to snuggle with you on his lunch break. The picture is a little dark, but your room is dark today.