Mixed Emotions

Today was a day filled with mixed emotions; Happiness, anger and sadness.

HAPPINESS: We are beyond thrilled that your oxygen is down to 43%! You are a doing marvelous, we couldn't be more proud!

ANGER: For over 12 hours you were fed cow based Human Milk Fortifer, which we know upsets your stomach and makes you severely agitated. This was a big mistake by the nutrition tech. Apparently she never read the orders for you to continue on with Human Milk Base Fortifer. This mistake wasn't picked up on until 12 hours later! You were terribly uncomfortable this evening. When you finally managed to poop it was pure black.

SADNESS: for the past few days everytime I hold you, you become very uncomfortable, which then triggers you to destat. My heart aches to just to hold you for more than a few minutes. You have so much going on holding you is the last thing you want me to do. Your stressed, I understand, I'm stressed too pal. I can't wait for the day you feel better and we can snuggle in bed at home. It's still hard to wrap my mind around that it's going to be awhile. People keep asking me how much longer... or they tell me stories about so and so had a 35 weeker that came home. It's hard for mom to hear those people talk or hear their stories. Your story is just that, your story.

God will get us through this. He alone is enough.